Why January Feels So Awkward

(And Why That’s Okay!)

We’ve been taught that January is supposed to feel motivating. And it makes sense! Between the promise of a clean slate in the new year and the hopeful ideation of new goals and habits, lives a calmer, more organized version of yourself waiting patiently for you to catch up.

And yet, for many people, January feels… off. A client of mine recently described January as feeling like a liminal space— an ‘in-between’ that’s neither here nor there and seems to last a lifetime in only the course of a month.

January can feel heavy, flat, disorienting, and emotional in ways that don’t quite make sense — especially when you feel like y

ou should be optimistic, productive, and focused.

If that’s you, it doesn’t mean you’re lazy, unmotivated, or doomed in the new year. It means that your nervous system is actually functioning for your greatest good.

The Emotional Whiplash No One Prepares You For

December is loud.

Even if it’s joyful, it’s a lot — full calendars, high expectations, and overstimulation have come to define the holiday season. There’s structure, urgency, and often a sense of momentum that carries you through.

January, on the other hand, is quiet.

Settling into the new year is also coming down from the high of the holidays. The distractions fall away, the adrenaline wears off, and the social scaffolding disappears. And suddenly you’re left alone with your thoughts, your body, and the reality of your life.

That transition alone is enough to feel destabilizing.

Why “New Beginnings” Often Bring Grief

We don’t talk enough about the grief embedded in fresh starts.

A new year doesn’t just represent possibility — it also marks endings. Another year gone. Choices made. Paths not taken. Versions of yourself that didn’t materialize. This is where regret often sneaks in. Not the dramatic, cinematic kind — but the subtle kind, that casually shows up and wonders things like:

Should I be further along by now?

Is it too late?

Did I make the right choice?

Is this really the life I meant to build?

Regret isn’t an emotional punishment and it’s not something to be afraid of. It’s information that’s meant to inform you on how to course correct. In a very future-focused month, many of us can still feel stuck in 2025 or any of the years and heartaches that came before it. Before judging yourself for this grief, the lingering pain of our past anchors us to something that mattered.

Optimism, Pressure, and the January Paradox

January asks us to be hopeful at the exact moment when many people, including ourselves, are most depleted.

There’s cultural pressure to:

* Feel motivated

* Set ambitious goals

* Believe things will improve

* Focus on the future, not the past

But optimism under pressure doesn’t always land as inspiring. For many people, it feels invalidating.

When you’re exhausted, grieving, or uncertain, being told to “look ahead” can feel like being asked to skip a necessary emotional step. And for the record, there’s nothing wrong with you for feeling stuck— oftentimes we begin to judge or shame ourselves for the pace at which we’re moving, slowing whatever little momentum we do have. These feelings are slowing you down because they are demanding to be felt and it’s all part of the process (annoying, I know).

The Nervous System Needs Time — Not Just Intentions

Change requires capacity. Motivation requires regulation. And regulation often dips when structure disappears, daylight shortens, and expectations remain high. The prevalence of seasonal affective disorder (more commonly referred to as ‘seasonal depression’) reminds us that we left “the most wonderful time of the year” in December. January has all the ingredients for a tough month, despite the best of intentions.

January doesn’t magically reset your nervous system.

It reveals it.

If you’re feeling unmotivated, emotional, or stuck, your system may be asking for stabilization before transformation. And that’s not only okay, it’s essential to move forward at full capacity.

You’re Not in a Rut — You’re Integrating

Many people feel like they should be more excited about the future than they are this time of year. However, integration comes before momentum. When you turn on your phone, computer, or any other device, we usually have to sit and stare a blank screen for what feels like forever. Even after it turns back on, it still takes a minute to receive any missed notifications and come fully back online. Humans, unfortunately, work the same way.

Looking back — reflecting on what worked, what hurt, what you miss, and what you want to carry forward — isn’t regression. It’s reorientation to where you’re at. You can’t move forward intentionally without first knowing where you’re standing. And this place of transition, while uncomfortable, is holy ground. You have the whole year, and probably your whole life, to get to where you’re trying to go. Maybe your ‘Dry January’ didn’t last very long, but that doesn’t mean you can’t take small meaningful steps toward the version of yourself that you aspire to be. Be here now, in service of the person you’re becoming.

What January Is Actually Good For

January isn’t ideal for reinvention.

It is good for:

• Taking stock

• Naming disappointment without judgment

• Letting yourself feel ambivalent about change

• Clarifying values before setting goals

• Getting over that flu you caught over the holidays

In other words, January is less about becoming someone new and more about being honest with who you are.

Therapy as a Place to Land — Not Leap

If January feels emotionally confusing rather than inspiring, you’re not alone.

Therapy can be a place to:

• Make sense of regret without getting stuck in it

• Hold hope without forcing optimism

• Understand what your nervous system actually needs

• Clarify next steps without rushing yourself

I work with clients navigating life transitions, burnout, relationship challenges, trauma, neurodivergence, and existential questions across the lifespan.

If you’re feeling unsettled, reflective, or quietly overwhelmed at the start of this year, therapy can help you find your footing — before inviting you to move forward.

January doesn’t require transformation. It requires honesty.

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